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Monday, 22 April 2019

Easter holidays

It's been a bit of a blurry couple of weeks here with the half term holidays, Easter and I've also been in hospital and unwell over the last week too so it's been pretty full on.

Now that I've finally had time to stop and breathe, I feel like I've ran a marathon.  I ache and I'm so over-tired from lack of sleep that I can't sleep if that makes sense?

The kids have had a great couple of weeks with cinema trips and animal park visits, they have got to spend a lot of time with their Nanny (grandmother not hired help) as she's not been at work which I know theyve really enjoyed. Theyve been to 3 Easter egg hunts in total with yesterday's having been set up by their auntie and uncle which they loved. We have enough chocolate to skink a small boat and I have no idea where we are going to keep it all.

On Monday eve i was taken to hospital via ambulance in a ridiculous amount of pain. (I know it sounds a tad extra but when we called 111 they insisted on sending one) after having blood tests and a scan it turns out I have to have an operation on my tummy which although it isn't ideal it could solve the problem I have of always feeling sick so swings and roundabouts i suppose. I'm on some medication until my operation so hopefully I can keep it under control.

The two oldest are back to school tomorrow and Kasper has his first day at pre school. I won't cry.....thats what I keep telling myself.   Little Marley won't know what to do with his personal space back and the lack of moaning and whingeing either for lunch at 9.30am or because one has told the other one to get lost.... After the holidays The house looks like it's been burgled at the moment so I guess I know what il be doing tomorrow.

Thursday, 11 April 2019

Bad day

Today has been the worst day.  Our cat Ted was hit by a car and killed so we have to find a way to tell the kids.  We have had the worst luck with cats over the years.  They've either been hit by a car or run off when we've moved house. We now just have the one cat and we've made the decision not to have anymore animals as it's just too upsetting that this keeps happening.
We've also realised tonight that Easter Sunday isn't this Sunday after all and is infact a week later.  We took the kids to pick their Easter eggs this week and they are so excited about having them at the weekend... Cannot wait to have that conversation too.. Not. I feel like such a bad parent. 😩😩

I've had a bit of wobble this week.  The realisation that there are just so many things I'm unable to do because of my back problem.  Hobbies that I used to love doing like seeing live music and going to festivals etc are somewhat impossible these days because of the level of pain that it will cause.  I hate it and I do feel angry that this is my life. I know a lot of people are worse off than I am but for me this feels like a big deal.
My anxiety has been hard to keep under control too.  I think I need a change of scenery.  By the sea is my happy calm place and I can't wait to go in the summer.  I'm. Visiting friends in Manchester in a couple of weeks and hoping that the break will help to get me back on track.

Wednesday, 3 April 2019

Smarties do Not have the answer

This week is flying by and half term will be here before we know it.  It's bloody hard to keep 4 kids occupied for 2 weeks without a) resorting to too much screen time or spending lots of money so I'm trying to put together some sort of itinerary so that we get out and about as much as possibe.

Today has been rubbish as I woke up in agony and so haven't been able to leave the house. The kids had an Easter egg hunt after school which Dale had to navigate as  I was unable to.  He then promised them that they could have some after dinner 🙈🙈🙈 cue Kasper bouncing off the walls like a crazy person at bedtime because of the smarties he ate from inside his egg. (Smarties are banned in this house because of this reason)
We had to get Oscar ready to go to Karate, Kasper ready for bed while he's losing the plot and running in circles, Scarlett doing gymnastics on the furniture and noone listening to me while Dale was upstairs bathing Marley because he seemed to use the chocolate as a mud bath and covered himself top to toe.
While I'm downstairs doing my best invisible woman impression who the kids ignore on the regular, I hear a blood curdling scream from Marley upstairs. He's slipped and hit the side of his eye in the bath and now has a big swollen welt (is that how you spell it?).  It was complete carnage.  By the time they'd all gone to bed and Karate for Oscar, Dale was stressed and I cried because I felt responsible for his stress because I'd had a bad pain day and therefore couldn't physically do much.  It's safe to say that Easter eggs before bed are a no from now on, and smarties can do one!



Broken

Im really struggling today. i feel sad and hopeless and i cant pull myself out of it,  I told myself that once Milas due date had paased, th...