The last couple of months have had its fair share of ups and downs. I'm still struggling with my mental health. I'm on a lot of medications for my pain and have gained weight, this is one of the side effects but I am one of those people that doesnt read the little information leaflet that they put in with every box of tablets.
The weight issue has got me to a place where I don't want to leave the house or be seen in public. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of the way I look and I just can't seem to find a way through it at the moment. It has been difficult as it's the summer holidays and the kids want to be out of the house. I'm going to see the Dr tomorrow in the hope she can help me find some sort of solution. I'm not sleeping properly either so that wont be helping.
The joys of being a mum with a disability and mental health issues. I try my hardest not to let the kids pick up on my struggles because it's not something they should have to think or worry about.
Kasper has now graduated from Pre School and is very excited to start big school in September. I sobbed on his last day, I'm so bloody proud of him for how he has dealt with the huge changes that have happened over the last few months. I can't believe how quickly time has gone. 19 days and he will be 4 years old.
Oscar and Scarlett-Rose have both had glowing reports and they now love school. When we moved I had the worst mum guilt from having to change their school and leaving their friends. I now think that it was the best decision we've made. They are both so settled and have lots of new friends and are thriving. They can't wait to go back in September.
Marley is now on his feet and running wild. He rules the roost! He has the most infectious personality and knows exactly what he wants. Please someone press pause.
I feel very blessed to have my little family.
I'm trying my hardest to be a good mum to them all. I feel guilty constantly for things I'm not able to do. I'm hoping that my therapy will start soon and that with the support of the Dr and my husband (who is just amazing by the way with all the things he does for us) I will start to feel better.
It seems pretty unfair that once again im back in this dark place. It's like my mind is in a prison that I can't break it out from....
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